Babysitting
by The Absinthe Angel
Summary: Yuffie needs a babysitter, so does Reno. But what they don't know is that they're babysitting each other. Rated T for language, chocobos with chocolate, and drinking games! BEWARE OF THE REFFIE


**Hullo! This is the Absinther Angle with her first fanfic! Its a reffie but diffrent, yah know? Rated T for some insanity, drinking, situtions that may consisit with chocobos and chocolate syrup, pizza delivery and some truth or dare! Prepare Yourselves!**

* * *

"TIFA! I'M RESPONSIBLE! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MY SELF!" Yuffie screamed while, coincidentally banging her head violently against Tifa's bedroom door.

"Sorry, Yuffie, we just can't trust you anymore," Tifa's soft voice came flowing through the soft wood. Yuffie moaned and banged her head harder. Tifa sighed loudly and opened the door, causing Yuffie to tumble through the door way, barely missing Tifa. Yuffie moaned headfirst on the ground as Tifa tapped her foot impatiently.

"Tifa, the number one thing right now is that your proving to me you need even MORE care while we're gone," Tifa scolded, "Banging your head against the door hardly sounds nor seems responsible." As Tifa droned on about responsibility Yuffie grunted and got up, seeing Cloud inside Tifa's room straightnening out his bow tie on his suit. Tifa herslf was in a VERY revealing black dress that would cause even Cait Sith to drool over her.

"But Tifa! Why don't you bring me with you then! I'm apart of AVALANCHE! I helped defeat Sephiroth. Shit I even took out my father for you guys. You could at least give me credit for that and take me to the big party!" Yuffie defended herself, hands now on her hips.

"Yes, that may be true but theres alcohol, and everyone I think remembers the incident in Rocket Town last year," Cloud sighed rubbing his brows with irritation and the horrible memories. Yuffie began to cackle evilly to herself and the beautiful memories that had brought her.

"Ah yes that was some crazy fun….but Cid was involved in it too! I mean COME ON!" Yuffie said emphasizing those two particular words, "He's more of a drunk then me!"

"But your under age!" Tifa reinforced. Yuffie rolled her eyes and mumbled softly.

"Not in Wutai I'm not."

"But your not in Wutai so forget it!" Cloud said, "Plus I don't want you home alone with our Materia stash. You always seem to find it, you klepto maniac."

"You fault for hiding it in obvious places, like what, under you bead?" Yuffie laughed. Cloud muttered something along the lines of _stupid brat _and walked into Tifa's restroom.

"More the reason why we can't trust you," Tifa said walking to the mirror to put in her silver hoped earings.

"Oh so you can't trust me but you can trust HIM to watch ME? For Christ sake he's more of a drunk thank I AM how do you know he won't like take me to a bar or something?" Yuffie asked.

"Believe me he won't. Now when he's babysitting you make sure you show respect." Yuffie angrily walked away from tifa and to her room to get her stuff packed for two LONG weeks. She stopped at her doorway when she heard Tifa shout at her from her bedroom.

"AND YUFFIE! TRY NOT TO GIVE HIM HELL!" tifa yelled, while Yuffie slammed her door loudly. Yuffie began to pack the essentials for a stay at her 'baby sitter's' house. Bunches of shirts, shorts, socks, her knee high sneakers, materia, and a bunch of ninja stars. Yuffie even managed to fit her stash of sugar down in there, cleverly hiding it in a Chocobo lunch box that was labled with a huge sticker saying, in Yuffie's handwriting, 'TOUCH THIS BOX AND GO TO HELL!'. Yes Yuffie was all set for this trip to hell.

Yuffie set her bag down bye the door and sat on a bar stool sadly. She'd been living with Cloud and Tifa for about a year now because yet again, daddy dearest wanted her to marry some one. Yuffie of course, being as courageous as she was, ran as far as she could from Wutai and to someone she could trust. But it wasn't like she wanted to stay with Cloud and Tifa. She visited Barret and Marlene first, but Barret turned her down when Marlene caught her using the word 'bitch' and began to chant it happily. She then moved onto Cid, but her in Cid got into some major trouble in Rocket Town. They had been out drinking at some new bar in Rocket town, and Yuffie ended getting into a fight with some Rocket Town mafia gang. Cid was to drunk to stand up straight, let alone fight, so Yuffie was left alone. She took out all the Mafia but then she was caught on the new feeds (because the clever man he was, Cid drunkenly called the news channels) rummaging through their pockets and stealing materia and such. Then this whole scandal got out that Yuffie had murdered a bunch of people and robbed them of their materia. Soon Yuffie had discovered it probably wasn't worth living with Cid if she was going to get a scandal started every time she went out drinking. So, Yuffie made her way to Nimbleheim in search of her favorite vampire friend Vinnie. When she searched all his usual hang outs he wasn't there. There was though a note in his coffin, probably left for someone like Cloud. It read,  
"Someone started sending me their bills. I must find this person and skin them and take their insides out. Be back later. –Vincent Valentine.

However much this caused Yuffie to laugh, it didn't help her situation. Aerith was dead and hanging out with her boyfriend Zach in the life stream, and Yuffie really didn't want to kill herself to be with her. Red XIII was really boring, and droned on about intelligent things. Maybe that's why cats weren't meant to talk, Yuffie would always think when she was in ear shot of Red. She really didn't trust Cait Sith because, well, he was Shinra dirt.

So Yuffie resorted to the last AVALANCHE team mates. Cloud and Tifa. Cloud had stopped disappearing but still, Yuffie hated him for his whole depressive attitude. Tifa was always too cheery so there was always an imbalance of emotions in that house. Yuffie was forced to work the bar most nights for minimum wage, and watch the kids for free. However, she was grateful that Tifa would take her in even if Cloud didn't want her to.

But some things would never die, such as Yuffies obsession with materia which caused none of them to ever trust Yuffie. ever. So here she was, Yuffie Kisaragi, great ninja and heiress to the throne of Wutai, waiting for Tifa and Cloud to take her to her babysitter, while the went to Costa Del Sol for a party Barret was throwing for all of AVALANCHE and their successes in the last couple years. And the worst part wasn't that she wasn't invited, her hate for Barret was everlasting now so it didn't matter. No it was who Tifa ended up hiring as a babysitter…

"LENA! CAN'T YOU FOR ONCE THINK LIKE A BRUNETTE AND CAREFULLY EXAMINE THE SITAUTION!" Reno yelled from the living room. Elena was putting on a pair of diamond earings. She was wearing a really seductive red dress that was garunteed to Tseng insane. Her heels escalated her to about Reno's height, which pissed off Reno even more.

"Sorry Reno. This mission requires prestige, consentration, and a sober state. You have none of them at present," Elena said pointing at the beer bottle in Reno's hands. Reno grunted and walked over to rude who was in his same attire.

"Come on buddy! Even you have to admit that this is a pretty stupid idea. I mean COME ON!" Reno said emphasizing the two words, "For Christ sake she's more of a drunk than I am!"

"Sorry Reno. Tsengs in charge and he said that you had to have a babysitter," Rude told Reno. Reno rolled his eyes and made his way into Rufus' office.

"Boss. You aren't going, why can't you watch me?" Reno asked.

"Because I have a date," Rufus said getting out of his wheel chair. He was wearing a black suti just like rub but had a read tie on underneath. His hair was slicked back and dark glasses set on his face to hide his identity. Reno gawked at the state ment in amazment and disbelief.

"Wait so your telling me that you going OUT when you were planning on hiding your identity for a while?" Reno asked angrily.

"Hey, she hot. Its worth the risk," Rufus said walking out of his office and to the living room of the Healin lodge.

"Tseng why did you even set this up?" Reno asked I desperation. Tseng walked out, dressed in his usual attire. He bowed to Rufus in his Wutainese way and turned to Reno.

"Because last yeaer at rocket town you were there watching Yuffie drink. We assume that you like her that much you may want her to baby…" but Tseng never finished because his eyes were averted to Elena, who was going through her purse. Reno rolled his eyes and sat on the couch next to Rufus depressively. Soon Elenena's phone was wringing, and after two minutes of conversation, she closed and looked at Reno happily.

"Tifa called! She's bringing the babysitter over right now!

* * *

**So how did u guys like it! Next Chappie will be sure to ensure doom! This chapter may have been slow but the next will ensue sanity!**


End file.
